Ursus Pacificus

Well, Bristol Palin had her baby.

The name?

Tripp. Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. It’s a boy, in case you were wondering.

So, now we have Tripp, Trig and Track. Lest we forget Willow, Piper and, of course, Bristol.

Elizabeth not good enough? Dave too common?

Well, here’s hoping Sarah doesn’t get pregnant AGAIN… What’s next? Troop? Trout? Trapp? Trodd? Trick? Trowel? Triangle? Trichinosis?

Not that I really have the necessary “cred” to talk about breeding practices, but… I tend to think that once your kids are having kids, no matter how old (or young) they are, you should stop. It’s confusing enough to have uncles and aunts who are younger than you, that join the family via “mergers and acquisitions”.. that’s tough enough… but when your younger aunt or uncle is your own parent’s sibling… that’s got to mess with your mind.

This story on Yahoo! News has the sympathy-baiting headline, “Ex-Bush aides say he never recovered from Katrina”.

Awwww…. What a shame. Well, at least all the countless thousands who actually got dumped on by the storm are back on their feet. … What? They’re not? Oh.

I recently drove around in New Orleans (October, 2008), and I gotta tell you… The Gulf Coast is still a mess, three years on.

Dan Bartlett, one of the most publicly candid and pragmatic Bush aides I know of, is quoted in the article as having said:

Politically, it was the final nail in the coffin.

Personally, I thought signing the USA PATRIOT act was the final nail in the coffin. The rest is just shovelsful of dirt piled in the dark of night on the coffin at the bottom of a shallow, unmarked grave in the woods behind Dick Cheney’s house.

Larry Wilkerson, former chief of staff to former Secretary of State Colin Powell (someone who really got crapped on by the Bush administration), had the guts to compare Bush to Sarah Palin. That’s “compare”, not “contrast”. He likened Bush to Palin. He said they were similar in their foreign policy experience.

Larry, I’ll go you one better… Bush and Palin are also similar in their (lack of) command of the English language and “folksy bumpklin charisma”. I tend to think one can be charismatic, articulate, and sensible, but the power brokers in the Republican party seem to think that’s too much to ask.

Wilkerson also went on to say that Dick Cheney had masterminded his own selection as Vice President. While I can’t say that comes as a surprise, the official story in the press (as I’d heard it) had been that Bush had selected Cheney, but Cheney declined, and instead offered to help him find a suitable candidate. It then turned out, according to the official telling, that none of the candidates met with Bush’s approval, and Cheney reluctantly accepted the Veep nomination. Huh. Who knew Cheney was such a douche bag?

Former deputy director of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, David Kuo, said that most of the senior staff at the White House were not particularly religious, and found the religious conservative leaders to be “annoying”, “insufferable”, and “pains in the butt”, but that they “had to be accommodated”. Why? Why did they have to be accommodated? Please tell me why? The President’s constituents are not only the people who voted for him. The entire population is his constituency. Yeesh.

I guess, for the next few weeks, we’re stuck with Bush administration retrospectives… The series-finale clip show, if you will, except, instead of hearing candid remarks from the main characters, we’re hearing them from minor characters we’d seen once or twice over the course of the series. I want to hear what Powell has to say! I’d love to see David Frost back Bush or Cheney into a corner!

I ain’t holdin’ my breath for it, bro.

The two most female women associated with outgoing President George W. Bush defend his legacy in this touchingly talking-pointed story.

Yes, the Bush administration is going out with a carefully scripted whimper.

Laura Bush and Condi Rice seem to be operating from the very same list of talking points. They claim that W. has achieved important foreign policy victories, such as providing aid to treat AIDS in Africa. They say that future generations will look back on W.’s time in the White House and thank him for all the good he’s done. They also tout the successes of W.’s efforts toward resolving the Israeli/Palestinian conflict with a two-state solution. Recent events suggest that any successes in this area were fleeting (if they ever existed).

There are some things they appear to have overlooked, such as:

1. Roughly doubling the National Debt over the course of his Presidency.
2. Allowing corrosive and predatory lending practices to pull the rug out from under the US economy, which was already shaky
3. The abject failure of costly tax cuts and “stimulus packages” to provide any sustained improvement in economic stability.
4. The failure to capture or kill Osama bin Laden, and “stop” al Qaeda.
5. The initiation of two wars of aggression, the consequences of which, the American people will be saddled with long after Bush leaves the White House
6. The failure to achieve victory in Iraq and Afghanistan (or even to define what “victory” is)
7. Countless human rights abuses in the conduct of “The War On Terror”
8. The failure to resolve anything substantial with Iran and North Korea
9. The erosion of personal liberty, here at home, in the name of “Homeland Security”
10. Need I go on?

I don’t know how historians will look back on the Bush Presidency, but I’m fairly certain I know how I will.

… oh. This isn’t real?

President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule

Please proof your copy.

Now I realize that I have some typos in my blog. Then again, I don’t do this for a living, and I’m not trying to sell you anything. I’m not without sin, here, but I’m far more sin-free than this! It’s TigerDirect’s product page for a new Shuttle mini PC.

Some of my favorites (emphasis is mine):

Make a fashion statement with the X27 mini PC, and it definitely achieves the perfect balance between your aesthetic sensibility and daily computing.

…uhhh….

The X27 consumes only 24W when in idle mode and 36W in full load mode. As such, it is a smart way to adopt an energy-efficient PC to help you conserve power and save money at the same time.

…since when does one “adopt” a PC?

The X27 has a gorgeous glossy outlook with a mere 3-liter volume. The unique black piano mirror finish reflects high-quality touch of Shuttle PC lineup. With the X27, you can optimize your work space while create a space-saving, yet stylish work environment conducive to productivity.

…no, I don’t think they’re talking about Microsoft Outlook, then again, I don’t think they’re talking about the X27’s attitude toward it’s situation… Are definite articles more expensive these days?

You are certainly able to concern about consumer citizenship while stay your exquisite taste with this chic gadget.

How can one sentence have so much wrong with it?

Now, I understand that TigerDirect is most likely just lifting text from Shuttle’s marketing materials, and Shuttle is an Asian (I think Taiwanese) company, which employs translators to create English language marketing materials from the originals, most likely written in Chinese. I ran into something similar when I worked as an electronic technician at Sony in San Diego, CA. The schematics for all the products designed in Japan were originally all labeled in Japanese, as one might expect. When the labels were translated to English, something was … uh… lost. For example, the line which carried the signal called “CBLANK” was labeled “CBRANK” on the skat. No joke.

This is not internal technical documentation. This is marketing material we’re talking about, here. This is supposed to sell you on the appeal and mystique of a product. It’s supposed to entice you. The thought of “stay[ing] [my] exquisite taste with this chic gadget” does nothing to entice me. I don’t even understand what that means.

The thing about this that really gets me is that there’s got to be at least 2 opportunities to make this make a little sense, and both were allowed to pass without notice.

1. I’d be very surprised if Shuttle didn’t have some sort of marketing organization in the US, employing at least one native-English-speaker.
2. TigerDirect, I’m sure, employs at least one copy writer, who is a native-English-speaker.
3. I’m fairly confident TigerDirect doesn’t post anything on their website or in their printed catalog without some kind of management oversight.

…and yet… nothing.

The Pope is at it again.

OK, so I can understand that the Catholic Church is struggling to appear relevant as more and more of its proclamations regarding the “real world” are reveled to be false… but this is getting a little stupid. C’mon, Benny. Really. The fat lady has sung. She’s already at the after-party raiding the buffet with 3 glasses of sherry in her.

The Pope praises astronomers on the 400th anniversary of Galileo’s first use of the telescope of astronomical observation. Really, it’s the only option at this point, because the Catholic Church is now too impotent to get away with burning them at the stake. Of course, the deeper reality of the situation is that for as long as it’s existed, the Earth has gone around the Sun, not the other way round (as the Catholic Church had maintained for centuries s in the face of plain evidence to the contrary). Copernicus or Galileo or Newton didn’t flip things around at all. They merely observed the world as it is, and, setting aside Church dogma, honestly interpreted what they saw. The Church, despite its claims at being infallible and inerrant, turned out to be utterly fallible and tortuously errant.

Astronomy is a scientific discipline. In spite of any platitudes some spineless scientists spout about how science and religious faith can exist side by side with no conflict, science and religious faith are fundamentally incompatible. I defy anyone to explain to me how they can honestly, and consistently, trust both world views.

Can you do it? Bring it on!

[Some clarification appears to be in order: The challenge above asks "how", not "whether". The question is not whether one can or does honestly, and consistently, trust both world views, but by what method or process is one able to do so. -- ed.]

Here in Rhode Island, after last year’s “stranded school bus” debacle, in typical Post-9/11 American Over-Compensation, schools closed before a single flake had fallen. Where and when ever possible people were encouraged to work from home, take a vacation day, or otherwise just not leave their homes.

I was perfectly happy to work from home yesterday.

The shoveling, tho…

In the words of too many aging action stars, I’m getting too old for this shit. Well… I can still shovel. I haven’t been reduced to utter incapacity… but… while I never enjoyed shoveling snow, I think I’ve reached a point where I actively dislike it.

Then there’s all the gear you have to have. You need at least one shovel, and a scraper/brush for each vehicle… then you need enough warm and dry clothes to actually spend a couple hours out in the wet and cold; probably more than once in a single storm. Then you need salt or some other melty-goo… I dunno… I’m not ready to throw int he towel and skip winter altogether, but I might look into some sort of advanced snow removal methods next year

I don’t have a lot of time to comment on this, but I thought you might be horrified by this Slashdot article.

Apart from the shrieking terror of “combat systems” being entrusted to a computer operating system which is not Internet-safe, as-shipped, I am bothered by this common government/contractor ploy referenced in the summary:

‘Submarine Command System Next Generation (SMCS NG)’ which apparently consists of Windows 2000 network servers and XP workstations. In the article, it is claimed that this decision will save UK taxpayers £22m over the next ten years. The installation of the new system apparently took just 18 days on the HMS Vigilant. According to the BAE Systems press release from 2005, the overall cost of the rollout was £24.5m for all eleven nuclear submarines of the Vanguard, Trafalgar and Swiftsure classes.

OK, it cost 24.5 million Pounds, but will save the taxpayers 22 million Pounds… so… the net savings is negative 2.5 million Pounds. Further compounding the bullshit and confounding the public, they spread that savings over 10 years. What?! So, they’re saving -250,000 Pounds a year… on eleven subs… so.. the net savings per sub per year is -22,727.27 Pounds. Well, that was worth the trouble.

Oh, and that name… SMCS NG… do you pronounce that “smICK-seng”? Talk about a name rooted in lowest-common-denominator consumer appeal!

Google’s really on top of things.

Within 20 minutes of my posting the “Adolph Hitler Denied Birthday Cake” thing, I thought, “I wonder if anyone else has used that same headline…”

I checked. Yes, it’s not terribly original. I was stunned to find that this search put me on page 1. … in 20 minutes.

Wow.

This story on Yahoo! News (get it while it’s hot) is funny ( in a Schadenfreude sort of way) and scary.

The gist of it is this: Heath and Deborah Campbell of Hunterdon County, N.J., parents of li’l Adolph (full name, according to the story is Adolph Hitler Campbell) are upset that their local Shop Rite has refused (three years running) to decorate a birthday cake with the lad’s name (and, allegedly, a swastika).

Heath and Deborah, whose other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell had to know that naming their children as they did would cause complications. I mean… my last name is Tourville, and I got plenty of shit in elementary school… can you possibly imagine the grief poor Adolf is going to get? It’s already started. Kid can’t get a birthday cake.

I mean it’s one thing to give your kid a weird name… like Placenta Jones or Splenectomy Peterson … or Jonestown Guyana Ravishankar… but… I find it hard to believe that Heath Campbell, being of German descent, was unaware of the baggage the name Adolf Hitler carries. At least the awfulness of JoyceLynn’s is buried where few people will see it. American’s generally know of only 2 famous Adolphs: Hitler and Coors… and Hitler is far and away the better-known one.

Picture the scenario: The Campbell boy goes to kindergarten, and, surprise, surprise, there’s a few kids in the class, whose proudly Jewish parents have already told them about The Holocaust… they meet li’l Adolph, and are immediately suspicious. They corner him, and ask him, in a confrontational way, if his middle name is Hitler. How’s he supposed to respond? “Maybe…”? They beat the shit out of him. Lather, rinse, repeat through college. You think li’l Adolph will grow up with a powerful hatred of Jews?

I’m all for the liberty to name your kids whatever you want, but to want to name your kid Adolph Hitler. In the Yahoo! story, the father admitted that he was raised to not socially or romantically “mix” with people of different races, but stated that Adolph is free to make up his own mind about that. Sure. Free. By the time he’s 8 he’ll have no teeth, 2 cauliflower ears, a detached retina in his left eye and an undying hatred of all non-whites. …that’s if he lives that long.

I’m not saying it’s right to punish someone because his or her parents are assholes, or because he or she happens to have the same name as one of the most unbelievable pricks in human history. I think that’s awful. Unfortunately, in the reality we all occupy, human societies run on labels, and labels (including names) carry the connotations of their history. Either the Campbells don’t know this (i.e., are ignorant), don’t accept it (i.e., are in denial), or don’t care (i.e., are assholes).

If the Campbells wanted to prove a point or change the world in naming their children, why not go with naming them after peacemakers or great thinkers. Copernicus, Kepler, Einstein… Norman Borlaug… hell, even Ferdinand Porsche would have been a better choice. The names these poor Campbell kids have been saddled with set the up for finding their only refuge in skinhead gangs and Klan rallies.

Then again, Frank Zappa’s kids (Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Moon Unit, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen) turned out pretty OK (if a little weird)… at least he didn’t name any of them Adolph Hitler Zappa.

Then, there’s the counterpoint. For a moment, set aside the stunning magnitude of Heath Campbell’s douchebaggery. The fact that a supermarket refused to print a child’s name on a birthday cake is pretty crappy. It’s not like they wanted to have “Sexually abuse aborted fetuses! It’s fun!” written on a cake. I’d be willing to bet it wasn’t even the poor kid’s full name… probably just, “Happy Birthday, Adolph!” Sure it’s within the rights of most business in most places to refuse service to anyone they want on nearly any grounds, but this is just dumb.

On the third hand, why didn’t Deborah Campbell just bake a cake, herself, and decorate it any way she wanted… or .. buy a blank cake and decorate it? Oh, wait, I know why… She and her husband are douchebags.