Calling All Copy Editors
Please proof your copy.
Now I realize that I have some typos in my blog. Then again, I don’t do this for a living, and I’m not trying to sell you anything. I’m not without sin, here, but I’m far more sin-free than this! It’s TigerDirect’s product page for a new Shuttle mini PC.
Some of my favorites (emphasis is mine):
Make a fashion statement with the X27 mini PC, and it definitely achieves the perfect balance between your aesthetic sensibility and daily computing.
…uhhh….
The X27 consumes only 24W when in idle mode and 36W in full load mode. As such, it is a smart way to adopt an energy-efficient PC to help you conserve power and save money at the same time.
…since when does one “adopt” a PC?
The X27 has a gorgeous glossy outlook with a mere 3-liter volume. The unique black piano mirror finish reflects high-quality touch of Shuttle PC lineup. With the X27, you can optimize your work space while create a space-saving, yet stylish work environment conducive to productivity.
…no, I don’t think they’re talking about Microsoft Outlook, then again, I don’t think they’re talking about the X27’s attitude toward it’s situation… Are definite articles more expensive these days?
You are certainly able to concern about consumer citizenship while stay your exquisite taste with this chic gadget.
How can one sentence have so much wrong with it?
Now, I understand that TigerDirect is most likely just lifting text from Shuttle’s marketing materials, and Shuttle is an Asian (I think Taiwanese) company, which employs translators to create English language marketing materials from the originals, most likely written in Chinese. I ran into something similar when I worked as an electronic technician at Sony in San Diego, CA. The schematics for all the products designed in Japan were originally all labeled in Japanese, as one might expect. When the labels were translated to English, something was … uh… lost. For example, the line which carried the signal called “CBLANK” was labeled “CBRANK” on the skat. No joke.
This is not internal technical documentation. This is marketing material we’re talking about, here. This is supposed to sell you on the appeal and mystique of a product. It’s supposed to entice you. The thought of “stay[ing] [my] exquisite taste with this chic gadget” does nothing to entice me. I don’t even understand what that means.
The thing about this that really gets me is that there’s got to be at least 2 opportunities to make this make a little sense, and both were allowed to pass without notice.
- I’d be very surprised if Shuttle didn’t have some sort of marketing organization in the US, employing at least one native-English-speaker.
- TigerDirect, I’m sure, employs at least one copy writer, who is a native-English-speaker.
- I’m fairly confident TigerDirect doesn’t post anything on their website or in their printed catalog without some kind of management oversight.
…and yet… nothing.