NewsUndies 20090310
For March 10, 2009, this is NewsUndies… All the news that shouldn’t be news. I’m Paul Tourville with these headlines:
The Catholic Church is uncertain how it feels about science. On Tuesday, March 3, the Vatican hosted an event promoting the idea that it isn’t down on Darwin, and doesn’t subscribe to “creationism” or “intelligent design”. Head of the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal William Levada, stated that Catholic Church doesn’t dispute scientific realities like evolution. He claimed there is a “wide spectrum of room” for both evolution and the idea of God as the start of it all. As one might expect, Cardinal Lavada did brand as “absurd” the notion put forward by Richard Dawkins, that the simple fact that evolution exists proves that God does not. Given the history of the Catholic Church, one might proceed with caution with regard to signing on for what the Church calls “absurd”.
Part-time lesbian and full-time loon Ann Heche is now officially back on the market. Her brief marriage to cinematographer Coleman “Coley” Laffoon has finally ended in a divorce nobody but Heche and Laffoon couldn’t see coming.
News outlets go bonkers over the 50th anniversary of the initial release of a doll. Wars, war-crimes, genocide, economic catastrophe, starvation, homelessness, skyrocketing unemployment, corruption, and who knows what all else is going on… A doll eats all their attention. What do you figure all that free publicity is worth to Mattel?
Irish Nationalism continues to be a source of joy and happiness for the Emerald Isle. Europe’s very own “Palestinian Problem” proves just as intractable. ….unless…..England just pulled out completely. Why this hasn’t occurred to them is one of the great mysteries. They were perfectly comfortable just pulling out of India, Pakistan, Rhodesia, and so on.
In other church news, Wigged-out parishioner Terry J. Sedlacek allegedly shot Rev. Fred Winters to death, mid sermon. One must wonder where God is when things like this happen… is He standing in line at the Starbucks?
With all the news that shouldn’t be news, I’m Paul Tourville.